Sunday, August 1, 2010

100 years, 100 films 28: Heidi (1937)

I chose this film for 1937 because, well, I'd never actually seen a whole Shirley Temple film. I'd seen bits and pieces over the years, but I'd never sat down and watched one right the way through. And after watching Heidi, I know why.

God this movie was horrible. The plot made no sense, the characters were all annoying, and ugh, god, did I want to slap Shirley Temple in her stupid fucking face. There was one moment where she gets butted in the arse by a goat. That was the only good part of the film.

I mean, Jesus Christ, there's a point in this film where Shirley Temple uses her powers of cuteness to make a crippled child able to walk again. It was so fucking terrible.

Oh, and there's this one scene where Shirley Temple is reading a picture book with her grandfather, and for no goddamn reason she just imagines herself into the book. Then we get this bizarre and totally out of place dance sequence about how much Shirley Temple loves her shoes. I guess she was reading a book about a girl who loved her shoes so much she started singing about them? Sounds like a pretty terrible book to me. And the only possible explanation for this scene is that Shirley Temple had a "bizarre pointless dance sequence" clause in her contract.

I hated this fucking movie so fucking much.

No comments:

Post a Comment